Random Thoughts: Hail Marys Full of Great

The weekend got off to a wild start with one Hail Mary and one huge blown lead.

Houston 41 West Virginia 39 - The Tweet above says it all. The win for the Cougars is their first against a B12 foe. The loss for WVU is ammunition for the Neal Brown haters.

Stanford 46 Colorado 43 (2 OT) - The Buffs and Cards kicked off on Friday night at 10pm ET. Most east coasters probably went to bed thinking that Colorado romped their way to a big win over a bad 1-win Stanford team after leading 29-0 at the break. You can just imagine the celebration and complacency that must have been occurring in the CU locker room at halftime. Deion has been trying to tout Travis Hunter as a two-way playing Heisman candidate, but the junior and Deion’s other son, safety Shilo Sanders, got smoked for 36 second half points as the Cardinals sent the game into overtime. Both teams score TDs in the first OT.

Shedeur Sanders threw an interception in the second extra frame while Stanford connected for an easy 31-yard field goal for the win. Hunter should probably just stick to being a wide receiver.

Colorado State 31 Boise 30 - Another Hail Mary late Saturday night! CSU trailed 30-10 with four minutes to play to stun the Smurfs.

Washington 36 Oregon 33 - Michael Penix (22/37-302-4-1) threw an 18-yard touchdown pass with 1:38 remaining. Oregon missed a 43-yard field goal attempt to tie it up on the final play. Bo Nix (33/44-337-2-0) was pretty good but three times the Ducks failed on fourth down, twice inside the Washington 10-yard line.

Notre Dame 48 Southern Cal 20 - Reigning Heisman winner Caleb Williams was harassed and harangued by the Irish defense. He threw three picks and was sacked six times. Old Man Sam Hartman had a tepid game (he must have been nervous with his grandchildren watching in the stands), but 13 for 20 for 126 yards and two TDs was good enough with that ND defense and special teams taking charge. The last two Irish touchdowns were a 99 yard kickoff return and a scoop and score.

In a clear case of karma, Oklahoma now has a clearer path to return to the college football playoff then their former coach Lincoln Riley does. The undefeated Sooners play UCF, at Kansas, at Okie Lite, WVU, BYU, and TCU. Riley’s 1-loss Trojan still have to face Utah, at Cal, Washington, at Oregon, and UCLA. (sad trombone)

SEC

Alabama 24 Arkansas 21 - After a slow start, the Tide looked like a dominant killing machine in the second quarter. Jalen Milroe was 7-10 for 215 yards and three total TDs at the break. He took the rest of the day off and his evil twin Malen Jilroe started the second half and looked like poo. He went 1-6 with 4 yards passing in the third quarter alone. He finished the game with -19 yards while being sacked 5 times.

LSU 48 Auburn 18 - Everybody is back on the Jaylen Daniels bandwagon after the LSU quarterback ran circles around the atrocious Aubie defense. He had 325 yards passing with 3 TD and added 93 more yards on the ground with an additional score.

Tennessee 20 Texas A&M 13 - Hmm... Tennessee getting multiple favorable calls that directly influences the outcome of a close game at home... Now, where have I heard this before? Joe Milton was rather pedestrian, completing 11 of 22 for 100 yards. He had 1 TD and 1 pick.

Florida 41 South Carolina 39 - A 21-yard Gators TD with 47 seconds left completed a rally from 10 points down in the fourth quarter. Graham Mertz had career highs in basically everything, going 30/48-423-3-0. If the Gators were not so Jekyll and Hyde, they might actually be dangerous. Up next: Brock Bowerless UGA in the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party in two weeks.

Missouri 38 Kentucky 21 - After falling behind 14-0, the Tigers were shaken alive from their slumber due to a fake punt touchdown on a 4th and 10. UK would regain the lead in the third quarter but an 18-point fourth quarter outburst by Mizzy put the ‘Cats away.

SEC VS CUPCAKES

Georgia 37 Vanderbilt 20 - After destroying Kentucky the week before, UGA came out lethargic once again. Vandy scored more points and kept this much closer than folks thought. The Dwags were favored by 32.5.

CINDERELLA STRIKES MIDNIGHT

Oregon State 36 UCLA 24 - The Beavers picked off three passes,returning one for a score.

Arizona 44 Washington State 6 - Wazzu’s adorable flirt with legitimacy came to a crashing halt. The Coogs turned the ball over three times and gained only 199 yards of offense.

Oklahoma State 38 Kansas 32 - The Jekyll/Hyde Cowpokes scored the last 15 points of the game for the B12 Dub-You.

OTHER STUFF

Duke 24 NC State 3 - Somehow the Dookies won despite their quarterback completing 4 of 12 passes for 107 yards.

BIG TEN, Y’ALL

Iowa 15 Wisconsin 6 - The Hawkeyes actually won this abomination of a game. The game had an over/under of 32.5 and was one of the lowest O/U in college football since they started tracking it in 1995. And they were still WAY under! I am sure Kirk Ferentz thinks this kind of football is all copacetic as long as they win. But if they get into the playoff, it’s going to make that UGA-TCU game look like a squeaker.

LAMEST FAN BASE OF THE WEEK

Pitt 38 Louisville 21 - The fairweather Pitt fans who packed Heinz Field in 2021 and 2022 have quickly fallen by the wayside with the team’s first half of the season. Their finickiness cost them a chance to see the Panthers dominate the 14th ranked Cardinals. Credit to coach Pat Narduzzi for realizing that QB Phil Jurkovec sucks ass. Narduzzi benched the sixth year player in favor of Ottawa, Canada native Christian Veilleux who led U of P to the upset.

This is great news for America because previously unbeaten Louisville was a charlatan at #14.

BLUE BLOOD FAN BASE OF THE WEEK

Notre Dame’s tenuous hold on the status of being a blue blood has been loosening quite considerably over the last couple of decades. After their fans stormed the field for beating a team who has not even won a bowl since 2016, I think it’s safe to say that the Irish have completely exited that vaunted nomenclature.

DUMBEST PENALTY OF THE WEEK

Nuff sed.

DISS OF THE WEEK

NEVER BET WITH YOUR HEART

CATCH OF THE WEEK 1

CATCH OF THE WEEK 2

PEACE OUT WATCH

What are the odds Caleb Williams comes down with some mysterious injury?

BURN THESE

A TRADITION LIKE NO OTHER

Georgia fans proclaiming their quarterback as close to Godlike.

“WE’RE NOT WEIRD”

“I SWEAR WE’RE NOT WEIRD!”

STATIONARY RUNNING BACK OF THE WEEK

• NC State running back MJ Morris ran 14 times for 38 yards (2.7 ypc).

STATS OF THE WEEK

• UTEP’s victory over FIU marks the first win in the state of Florida in program history. In the Sunshine State, the Miners are 0-1 vs USF, 0-2 vs FAU, 0-2 vs UCF, and now 1-2 against FIU.
• Navy and Charlotte combined for 20 punts, 11 by the Middies.
• Colorado’s Shedeur Sanders has been sacked 34 times this season. That is six more than the next closest QB. Our old friend Tino Sunseri set the FBS single-season record for being sacked at 60 when he quarterbacked Pitt in 2011.

WAS THIS AN ESPN COMMERCIAL OR THE BEGINNING OF A JOKE??

Give us your captions in the COMMENTS section.

WORST/BEST KICKER OF THE WEEK

GAMEDAY SIGN OF THE WEEK

THE WACKY WORLD OF DESI

The guest picker on College GameDay was actor Joel McHale (The Soup, Community) who showed up in full body paint of purple and gold.

GD will be in the worst state ever for anOSU v PSU. FOX Noon Kickoff heads to ??? SEC Nation finally deems Tuscaloosa as a suitable place to travel.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

• Tulane (5-1) trailed Memphis 21-10 late in the third quarter but responded with three unanswered touchdowns for the 31-21 victory.
• Wyoming (5-2) was shot down by Air Force 34-27.
• Jamey Chadwell (37-6 over the last four seasons) Liberty is 6-0 and bowl eligible. My fear is that TAMU will fire Jimbo and hire this up-and-comer.

COUSINS

• Troy (5-2) - The Trojans blanked Army 19-0 on four field goals and one TD, holding the Cadets to 255 total yards. TU has a week off to prepare for Texas State.
• South Alabama (3-3) - The Jags had a bye week and play Southern Miss tonight (Tuesday) as an 18 point favorite.
• Jacksonville State (5-2) - The Gamecocks got slobberknocked by Liberty 31-13. They too play tonight against Western Kentucky (-7).

THAT ANNOYING GUY WHO TRIPLE DIPS

• UAB (2-5) - The Dragons’ one-game win streak came to an end at the hands of UTSA 41-20. Memphis comes B’ham as a 5.5 point favorite.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

• Army (2-4) - The Black Knights could not get anything going against Troy losing 19-0. Losing three fumbles and throwing a pick did not help. A deployment to LSU (-30) is next.
• Navy (3-3) - The Midshipmen scored on a 69 yard pass and a 62 yard run to shut out Charlotte 14-0 in a REALLY ugly affair. Both teams had exactly 265 yards but Navy won the turnover battle 3-0.
• Air Force (6-0) - The Falcons found themselves in an early 14-0 hole to Wyoming and fought back to take a 34-27 win. AFA now leads the Mountain West Conference standings and made their way into the Top 25.

* Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy, Round 1 commences Oct 21 with Air Force (-11) at Navy 11am/noon on CBS.

ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION

Eliminated: All non-P5s, Notre Dame, Clemson, Boston College, Miami-FL, NC State, Syracuse, Virginia, Wake, Pitt, Virginia Tech, Georgia Tech, Baylor, Houston, Iowa State, K-State BYU, Cincinnati, Center Florida, Oklahoma State, TCU, Texas Tech, Rutgers, Sparty, Minnie, Nebraska, Northwestern, Iowa, Purdue, Illinois, Indiana, Arizona State, Arizona, Colorado, Stanford, Cal, UCLA, South Carolina, Kentucky, Vanderbilt, Missy State, Arky, Auburn, Florida, Texas A&M NEW: Louisville, Wazzu, Kansas, West Virginia, Maryland, Wisconsin,

Endangered: Alabama, Tennessee, Texas NEW: Oregon

Extremely Endangered: Oregon State, Utah, Duke, Ole Miss, LSU, Mizzou NEW: Southern Cal

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

DraftKings odds to win the 2023 National Championship (under the FUTURES tab):

1. Georgia +220 to+240 to +230 to +300 to +260 to +280 (bet $100 to win $280)
2. Michigan +800 to +750 to +700 to +475 to +400 to +340 to +280
3. Washington to +1500 to +1200 to +800
4. Ohio State +700 to +750 to +900 +1200 to +1000 to +800 to +750 to +900 to +800
5. FSU +2000 to +1100 +1000 drop to +1200 to +800 to +900 to +800
6. Penn State +2200 to +1800 to +1600 to +1400 to +1200
7. Oklahoma +1400 to +1200
8. Texas +2200 to +1000 to +800 to +750 to +1800
9. Alabama +600 to +550 to +2500 to +4000 to +4000 to +2500 to +2000
10. Oregon to +1600 to +1400 to +2500

• Southern Cal +1500 to +1600 to +1500 stays at +1400 to +1600 to +1800 to +2500 to +7500
• LSU +1100 to +3500 to +3500 to +3000 to +4000 to +15000 to +20000 to +15000

Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.

• ACC - Florida State leads UNC. Louisville is likely out.
• Big 12 - Okie and Texas had the week off.
• Big Ten - Still waiting on anOSU, Michigan, and PSU to play each other. The rest of that conference is bleh. Stop flexing for beating Indiana.
• PAC-12 - It’s looking like Washington but they have a loooong way to go.
• SEC - Georgia and Alabama look to be on a December collision course. But Tennessee and LSu still linger.
• Indies - Notre Dame
• Non-Power 5

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

Alabama gets a big road win at Texas A&M aaaand... they stay at number 11. Then they come home and look like crap against to win Arkansas aaaand... they stay at number 11. Thank goodness the AP poll means nothing anymore. The first college football playoff rankings will be released on October 31.

1. Georgia (43)
2. Michigan (16)
3. Ohio State (1)
4. Florida State (1)
5. Washington (2)
6. Oklahoma
7. Penn State
8. Texas
9. Oregon
10. North Carolina
11. Alabama
12. Oregon State
13. Ole Miss
14. Utah
15. Notre Dame
16. Duke
17. Tennessee
18. Southern Cal
19. LSU
20. Missouri
21. Louisville
22. Air Force
23. Tulane
24. Iowa
25. UCLA

According to the Colley Matrix, Michigan’s best win came against Rutgers.

LET’S GO BOWLING!

• 21 teams are now bowl eligible.
• Of the 131 FBS teams eligible for the post season, only 11 are still undefeated.
• Georgia and Michigan are the only two teams at 7-0. The others are 6-0.

LET’S GO BLOWING!

• All power 5 teams have won at least one game this season. Seven have yet to beat a fellow P5. They are Arkansas, Virginia, UCF, Michigan State, Vanderbilt, Indiana, Arizona State.
• Congratulation to UMass for becoming the first FBS team to 7 losses! Time to relegate them to the Patriot League and promote South Dakota State.
• Akron, Kent State, and Ball State all stand at 1-6 and are one defeat away from the chopping block.
• Sam Houston and Nevada are winless after six games. SHSU has a chance for their first victory against FIU.
• Arizona State is 1-5 with their sole victory coming against 2-4 FCS Southern Utah 24-21.
• Houston earned their first Big 12 W. Cincy and BYU lost again. Center Florida (0-3) was off.
• To get to a bowl, Colorado (4-3) must now win 2 of its final 5 games: at UCLA, Oregon State, Arizona, at Washington State, at Utah.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to these douchebag fans who think it’s cool to get up in the football players’ faces.

Look at this dickhead Irish fan getting a picture with Caleb Williams after So Cal took a crushing loss. The dickweed was yelling “Let me see those nails now, bro!” These a-holes are big tough guys when they know the players can’t do anything. It’s like the jerks who mistreat Amish people and then whine when they retaliate. We need a new rule that these players can “protect” themselves against “trespassers” with no repercussions.

HEISMAN HYPE

Welcome to the party, pal!

After all the blabbing and drooling over quarterbacks, some of these talking heads are starting to get that it does not HAVE to be a QB. Bowers is out with an injury, but Burden is still around.

After an atrocious showing against Notre Dame, Caleb Williams’s Heisman candidacy is probably dead in the water. He was already behind the eight ball being a reigning winner (voters don’t like two-time winners). Doing a faceplant in a high-profile game did not help his campaign.

Below are just some of the top Heisman picks in order of the money lines.

Odds are provided by DraftKings and many more options can be seen at that link under the AWARDS tab. [Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.]

1. QB Michael Penix (6th YR, Washington) from +1600 to +900 to +550 to +400 to +380 to +200 to -140
2. QB JJ McCarthy (JR, Michigan) out of nowhere up to +1000 for beating nobodies.
3. QB Dillon Gabriel (5th YR, Oklahoma) +1200 to +1000
4. QB Jordan Travis (6th YR, FSU) from +1400 to +900 to +1500 to +1200 to +1500 to +1600 to +1200
5. QB Jayden Daniels (5th YR, LSU) +1100 to +3000 to +2200 +1800 to +2500 to +3500 to +1400
6. QB Drake Maye (JR, UNC) +1800
7. QB Caleb Williams (JR, Southern Cal) +450 to +400 to +380 to +400 to +180 to +220 to +2000
8. QB Bo Nix (5th YR, Oregon) +1000 to +900 to +600 to +2000

• QB Jalen Milroe (RS-SO, Bama) +12000 to +10000 to +9000 to +5000
• QB Quinn Ewers (RS-SO, Texas) +1300 to +900 to +700 to +600 to +900 to +3000 +5000
• QB Sam Hartman (6th YR, Notre Dame) fell from +1600 to +2000 to +1100 to +2200 to +6500 to +8000
• QB Shedeur Sanders (JR, Colorado) +1800 to +8000 to +12000 to +20000
• RB Jase McClellan (SR, Bama) +12000 to +15000 to +20000

THE SICK REPORT

Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

• Georgia tight end extraordinaire Brock Bowers limped to the locker room during the Dwags win over Vandy. He had surgery on Monday to “stabilize” a high ankle sprain. Assuming it’s tightrope surgery, the return time is anywhere from three-to-six weeks. UGA has this week off and then Florida, Mizz, OM, @Tenn, @GT. RUT-ROH!
• Star receiver Johnny Wilson missed Florida State’s game against Syracuse. FSU coach Mike Norvell did not specify Wilson’s exact injury. He is expected back this week for the Duke game. He has 20 receptions for 357 yards and two TDs this fall.
• It was determined late last week that Oklahoma’s leading receiver Andrel Anthony will be out for season after suffering non-contact injury vs. Texas. The Sooners had a bye week and host UCF on Saturday before road trips to Kansas and Oklahoma State.

R.I.P.

• Ronnie Caldwell, who played for FCS Northwestern State, was fatally shot early Thursday morning at an apartment complex. The local police are actively searching for information but have made no arrests. Saturday’s NSU football game at Nicholls was canceled.

DRAMA

• The PAC-2 lawsuit hits another sharp turn as the University of Washington is seeking to dismiss the suit filed by Oregon State and Washington State against Pac-12. Man, the Apple Cup is going to be brutal!

KOACHES KORNER

• After getting thumped by UGA the week before, Kentucky coach Mark Stoops was getting a lot of heat from fans. And he came back with guns a-blazing. On his Monday radio show he exclaimed “fans have that right. I give it to them. I just encourage them to donate more, because that’s what those dudes are doing. I can promise you, Georgia, they bought some pretty good players. You’re allowed to these days, and we could use some help. That’s what they look like, you know what I mean, when you have 85 of ‘em. I encourage anybody that’s disgruntled to pony up some more.” After a second-straight thrashing, Stoops better not hold his breath. Basketball season is right around the corner and call has a big invoice to turn in.
• Former Mizzou coach Barry Odom has UNLV at 5-1 and one win away from bowl eligibility. The Rebels have not been to a bowl since the 2013 season - the only other year with a winning record since 2000.
• Urban Meyer plans to give out signed photos of himself for Halloween.
• Tennesseans were astonished last Saturday by what they thought was a full eclipse of the sun. However, it was just Fat F*** Phil Fulmer walking by.

TEEVEE

Wow. Whodathunkit.

THIS WEEK

(Below is an abbreviated list of highlighted games of interest with lines provided by DraftKings. If you REALLY need to know about the big UTSA-FAU showdown, you can find the details here.)

Tuesday, October 17

Middle Tennessee at Liberty (-14.5) 6pm/7pm CBSSN
Western Kentucky (-7) at Jacksonville State 6:30/7:30 ESPNU
Southern Miss at South Alabama (-18) 6:30/7:30 ESPN2

Wednesday, October 18

FIU at Son of Sam Houston (-5.5) 6pm/7pm CBSSN - Arf!
New Mexico State (-3) at UTEP 8pm/9pm ESPN2

Thursday, October 19

Condoleezza Rice at Tulsa (-3.5) 6pm/7pm ESPN2
James Madison (-3.5) at Marshall Mathers 6pm/7pm ESPN - You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow/This opportunity comes once in a lifetime...

Friday, October 20

SMU (-19.5) at Temple of the Dog 6pm/7pm ESPN2 - going hungry

Saturday, October 21

SEC

Mississippi State at Arkansas (-7) 11am/Noon ESPN
South Carolina at Missouri (-7.5) 2:30/3:30 SECN
Ole Miss (-6.5) at Auburn 6pm/7pm ESPN
Army at LSU (-30) 6:30/7:30 SECN
* Fla, Uga, UK, Vandy and TAMU are off this week.

OTHERS WORTH A PEEK

Penn State at Ohio State (-4.5) 11am/Noon FOX - FINALLY! A REAL game for these two.
Air Force (-11) at Navy 11am/Noon CBS
++ Minnesota at Iowa (-4) 2:30/3:30 NBC - It’s like a car crash that you can’t look away from. The OVER/UNDER is a record low of 32.5. Minnie averages 21.7 ppg. Iowa is at 20.9. Only three P5 teams have lower averages and three of them are Big Ten (ILL, Nebr, Indy, Az St).
Washington State at Oregon (-17) 2:30/3:30 ABC - Who has the bigger hangover?
Duke at FSU (-14) 6:30/7:30 ABC
Utah at Southern Cal (-6.5) 7pm/8pm FOX

FINISH EACH DAY BEFORE YOU BEGIN THE NEXT, AND INTERPOSE A SOLID WALL OF SLEEP BETWEEN THE TWO ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

UCLA (-17) at Stanford 9:30/10:30 ESPN

SABAN vs. POP & BEAR

It is interesting how everybody has been trumpeting that Nick Saban has 286 career wins when we Tide fans have known all along that it is 291. Now, they are adding those extra five games and announcing that he has 200 Ws as head man at Alabama instead of 195. I have a feeling they will come around to our side of thinking real soon.

Below is a count of career FBS/Division I-A win totals for coaches.

For those of you new to RBR Random Thoughts, we count all on-field wins at the FBS/Division I-A level. So, before you go squawking about Frank Beamer, 42 of his wins came at Murray State. Mack Brown had six victories in one season with Appalachian State when they were still in what was known at I-AA (FCS today). Brian Kelly won 118 games with something called Grand Valley State. So, let’s stop talking about his win record with such reverence. In addition, we don’t recognize NCAA sanctioned forfeits. If you won on the field, it counts in our books.

Mack Brown’s Tar Heels have quietly gone 6-0 and quite frankly need a heaping tablespoon of Rat Poison.

#ALABAMA

• Former Alabama offensive tackle Andre Smith (2006-08) was named to the 2023 SEC Football Legends class. The Birmingham native originally committed to former Tide coach Mike Shula. After becoming a starter as a true freshman, Smith would start every game over three seasons, win the Outland Trophy, as well as being named two-time first team All-SEC, and unanimous All-American as a junior. He was the No. 6 overall pick of the 2009 NFL Draft by the Bengals and played in the NFL until 2021, mostly with Cincy. Smith and others will be honored at events surrounding the SEC Football Championship Game in Atlanta in December.
• JC Latham was named the SEC Offensive Lineman of the Week.
• Will Reichard now stands alone in seventh place for career scoring total. With 14 more points, he could be in third place.

1. QB Keenan Reynolds, Navy 530 (+44)
2. RB Kenneth Dixon, Louisiana Tech 522 (+36)
3. RB Montee Ball, Wisconsin 500 (+14)
4. PK Austin Seibert, Oklahoma 499 (+13)
5. PK Zane Gonzalez, Arizona State 494 (+8)
6. PK Christopher Dunn, North Carolina State 491 (+5)
7. 7. PK Will Reichard, Alabama 486
8. 7. PK Daniel Carlson, Auburn 480

• DB Malachi Moore missed the Arkansas game with an ankle injury, but should be available on Saturday.
• Tight end CJ Dippre (leg muscle), linebacker Trezmen Marshall (bruised ribs), and DL Tim Smith (unknown) suffered injuries during the Aky game. None of them are deemed to be too serious.
• Alabama is bowl eligible.

GAME 7: Saturday, October 14, 2023 - TSIO!

Alabama Crimson Tide (6-1) vs Tennessee Volunteers (5-1)

Tuscaloosa, AL ~ 2:30/3:30 CBS

• UT’s Jaylen Wright’s 136 rushing yards against TAMU was his fourth game with over 100. The games he did not clear that benchmark was a cupcake blowout win and a loss to Florida - the Vols only defeat this season. Do you see the pattern here?
• Alabama is 59-38-8 all-time against Vols. The Tide hope to start another long streak against UT on Saturday.
• The T-town weather forecast calls for sunny skies with a high of 73°.
• SHUT UP, GARY! TV Announcers are Brad Nessler and Gary Danielson with Jenny Dell on the sidelines.
• Eli Gold will again handle play-by-play duties on Alabama Radio. Is anyone listening? He’s not exactly as sharp as he used to be.
• Badasses Reggie Ragland and Courtney Upshaw will be honorary team captains.
• The point spread according to DraftKings opened at Bama as a -10 favorite but has dropped to -9 as of post. The Over/Under is around 47.5.

Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.