NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! Week 3 — El Assico fallout as the Big 10 served served up some #butt

In a Week 3 bereft of big matchups college football delivered a beautiful slate of online anger where few thought possible. The non-conference time has ended with an exclamation point as we celebrate a bounty of bad losses.

Michigan State passed the ball at will against Arizona State yet managed only a meager 7 points in their 7-10 loss to the Sun Devils. Iowa State hosted College Gameday for their big rivalry game against Iowa. El Assico held true to style as the Cyclones would lose 17-18 after a 6 hour game (including weather delays) on a truly spectacular muffed punt.

Maryland entered the rankings after early season success as is tradition. Staying true to form the Terps would lose disappointingly to Temple 20-17 and leave the top 25 as quickly as they entered.

Clay Helton’s USC headed into BYU’s house after the Cougars just defeated Tennessee in double overtime last week. The Trojan’s freshman QB Kedon Slovis’ week 2 performance did not repeat itself and USC lost 30-27 in overtime.

Prepare your delicate constitutions to see some bad words below and remember only sticks and stones may break your bones.

MARK DAIN’TONIO

Can you imagine watching this entire game

Why do I like football?

I don’t think anything we did today qualifies as football

MSU changed offensive systems, but not the offensive mindset.

Prevent defense on 4th and 16 was a pathetic call after the success from a 4-5 man front all game.

John L. is shockingly relevant right now.

Wish we played Arizona State in a 33 degree downpour.

The cheerleader said let’s go state but which State? IM CONFUSED!!

These refs are biased, obviously employed by Rutgers. The R on their shirt is clear as day.

Next play call will involve someone’s dick getting slammed in a car door. And it’ll be an improvement

I think the real winners of this game are the people who watched it at home and could change the channel.

Told my wife “just 5 more minutes” with 2 mins to go. B1G mistake.

Fox really missing the opportunity for a commercial here.

the announcers can’t count. And neither can Michigan State.

refs call bad PI to put MSU in FG range, not even announcers disagree, FG goes through
God: Not so fast my friend

216 yards and no fucking points.

Suicide watch for Coghlin and homicide watch for the refs

Mark Dantonio could have won his 110th game today. Instead, he chose to reshuffle his staff and look where it got him

https://imgur.com/a/8emEmBT

HEY DANTONIO YOU CANT GO INTO VICTORY FORMATION WHEN YOU ONLY HAVE 7 POINTS FUCK

A PUNT TO REMEMBER

Iowa State is currently trying to get a live mascot on to the field.

College Game Day more like College Rain Delay

I would switch games during the delay but I want the full El Assico experience

DONT LET SHAVING 3 MINUTES OFF HALFTIME DISTRACT YOU FROM THE FACT EL ASSICO MOVED NEBRASKA TO FOX BUSINESS

I told my wife 7:30 dinner reservations with her mom should be safe... RIP :(

That was the most cyhawk ending to a 6 hour game

Legitimately, that was probably the greatest El Assico that’s ever been played. Gameday and rain delays turned this into one for the ages. Now I’m gonna go kill myself. GG

Starting to wish my phone was dead so I couldn’t see Twitter

MSU: Let me invent a new way to lose
ISU: You think that was creative? Watch this! dives at his own player

Game starts: 3pm. Game ends: 9:05pm. Big 10 Before And After Dark

If I already wasn’t dead inside from the last 19 years of my life I’d sure be in pain

Iowa loaded a revolver, pointed it at its own foot, and fired, but Iowa State pushed one of its own in front of the bullet.

In typical ISU fashion. Never too late to lose a football game.

Existence is eternal pain

This game is the shittiest litmus test ever.

Why don’t we just build a dome over Jack Trice with the empty Busch Light cans?

Truly an instant Assic.

it hurt itself in its confusion

Hide from it, Rain delay it, Assico always arrives

Another Classico for El Assico

These delays are going to take so long, CenturyLink will have people’s internet restored before the game is over.

I watched 6 hours to see that. What has my life come to?

Seemed a bit shorter than the typical Assico

This is all Eric Church’s fault

I WAITED 6 HOURS FOR THIS

My drinking plan for the day did not take into account two rain delays.

”Generally, it’s best if you don’t lay your own punt returner out when he tries to catch it.” John Madden

MARY LAND OF FRAUDS

Maryland to the AP poll - “Ight I’m gonna head out”

Polls are a conspiracy to keep Maryland down.

Outscore their opponents 142-20 over a two-game span, then scoring 15 points in a game where they had countless redzone opportunities as soon as they get ranked is peak Maryland football

I’m not surprised at all.

It’s just so depressing. There was some actual excitement around the program for the first time in a while with the ranking and a home game against Penn State coming up. And now it’s all fucking gone

Why did Manny Diaz leave powerhouse Temple for some scrub Florida school?

RIP Terps to CFP memes 2019-2019

Is Crabbing Season over?

All I want is a ranked prime time game against Penn State is that really too much to ask

This has been a shit show. THIS feels like Maryland football baby

UNRANK MARYLAND YOU COWARDS

who knew Temple was the best team in college football?

WHO WANTS TO LOSE MORE TEMPLE SPECIAL TEAMS OR MARYLAND OFFENSE?apparently Maryland’s offense!

If McFarland is picking up 15 yard chunks, why would you wait until 3rd down until you run him again? Stop getting cute.

Maryland alum here, feeling down about the Temple loss. Can any Texas fans explain to me what it’s like to lose a home-and-home back-to-back years to a program with vastly lesser status and resources to your own?

That premature article apologizing for not trusting the coach aged well.

Alright hear me out.. I say we punt on the first play every time we get the ball in hopes that their special teams screws it up.

Crabcakes and disappointment, thats what Maryland does.

THE FAKE USC

BYU is 2-0 since being called poo poo.

It took BYU TWO overtime’s to beat Tennessee.

My heart says we’ll score a TD. My brain says we’ll throw a pick.

FIRE CLAY HELTON (and Larry Scott)

Okay. So Stanford is really just bad this year. I get it now.

Me irl

RIP Kedon Slovis Bandwagon 2019-2019

Stanford is poo poo

Frustrated with your coach? Want him gone?
Here’s how you can get them fired in 3 easy steps!
1 Schedule BYU
2 Go to OT
3 Lose
It’s the classic hire Urban strategy

Helton is a stupid fucking idiot to think he can win in OT right now. Your fucking kicker just hit a fucking 52 yard field goal and you run out the fucking clock. What a fucking pathetic call

These refs are absolute dog shit. Horrible calls against both teams all game.

The true winners of this game are all the viewers who love watching announcers attempt to pronounce Polynesian last names.

Clay Helton might be fired Kiffin style.

SLC airport has a lovely TARMAC!!!!

the battle may have been lost, but when Helton is gone, the war will have been won.

Roses bowls are red
Cougars wear blue
Fire Clay Helton
Because SC is poo poo

Ok so big 12 refs are worse than pac refs. Noted

Did they mic a pterodactyl?

This BYU ad keeps showing a kid skateboarding on their campus and I’m 90% sure that’s illegal in Utah

Imagine spending 14 days in jail for bribing to get your kid into the school that lost to BYU.

When USC saw they got ranked 24th

I’m so mad I’m gonna go to Olive Garden and eat the unlimited breadsticks until they’re limited