NSFW: It’s Meltdown Time! Iowa, Texas A&M, Nebraska and Notre Dame limp their way to center stage!

On Tuesday, we hit you with the main event: a Lone Star State-sized freakout after Texas dropped a 20-19 decision to Alabama. Today, we get the “undercard,” a series of meltdowns so delicious that they might count among the year’s best if not for Texas’s and A&M’s biggest regular season losses in a decade (and, in the case of Aggie, perhaps the worst loss in program history).

It was a weekend of upsets, and there were hot takes to be had.

On tap today, we have so many teams embracing the darkness: the grim pathos that only Catholics can provide after making what looks to be an incredibly stupid hire — Freeman is the first coach in Domer history to lose his first three games; Aggie Man tweeting through it all with desultory haiku — and cursing that big checkbook; Iowa losing El Assico at home to Iowa State because of (again) bad quarterback play and (again) worse coaching.

Then we have Nebraska...man, the Bugeaters are in the lowest state of fandom we’ve seen since Chad Morris tried to destroy Arkansas — and damn near succeeded. One doubts there’s a Pittman in their future, however. The football gods only allow one such act of serendipity per generation.

Bon appetit

Standing Warning: The Meltdown frequently features naughty language and imagery that is offensive, that is beyond the pale, that is replete with -isms and -ists and -phobias, or other displays of inhumanity that is NSFW.

You’ve been warned.

Iowa Hawkeyes

Wait what? We scored a touchdown???
Even better. The offense went 16 yards.

Punting is winning

You happy Kirk? Your pretty boy fucking up once more? You’re still gonna keep beating the dead horse?

Why? Why are we still trying to throw?

The only 2 they are gonna do is drop a deuce on the field

After watching AL@TX this morning, I feel like I’ve stepped in some shit. Gee-whiz, this is a terrible game.

He practices well. Didn’t you read the presser???

It’s ok that Spencer sucks at qb because he is a really good teammate.

Petras must have pics of Ferentz with a goat or something.

Matt Campbell will adjust his offense during the half. Mr. Haircut will adjust his belt during the half.

Meanwhile Charlie Jones lighting it up and has already exceeded his career stats at Iowa in 2 games with Purdue. Tell me that is not a flaming indictment of Iowa offense and coaching.

The Iowa defense has more catches than Iowa wide receivers. It’s the third quarter.

How can a D1 QB be this bad? Does this not happen in practice or something?

well yanno how it is. Watch Iowa’s offense. Scoop out the cat box. It doesn’t matter. Either way I see crap.

OMG! They may be able to kick a field goal from there!!!

Should have just kicked the field goal on the first play of the drive

if I told you both teams bet the under and were shaving points would it be more or less likely than this being them trying their best?

wait, what? they don’t even have 100 yards of total offense? Are you serious? No, really. Are you serious?

DO NOT GO TO THE NEVADA GAME. IF YOU HAVE TICKETS DO NOT SELL THEM. KINNICK NEEDS TO BE EMPTIED OUT FOR THEM TO HEAR US. DO NOT GO TO THE NEVADA GAME.

Brian Ferentz has the offense creativity of a cantaloupe.

Iowa football is trash. Kirk Ferentz should do the honorable thing either quit or ask to be fired

If ISU scores, there is no way Iowa comes back from a 3 point deficit. That is too much

Not even gonna try to return that kick?? That was the only chance they had of scoring.

What changes get made? Lemmmeguess. Fucking 0000000000! Fucking changes. More fucking hand claps and gum chewing. All this while BFBF makes $800 k a year.

Petras is 8/15 for 49 yards. Rushing is at 62 yards! This is what $7M gets you every year now.

If Petras is such a good teammate, he’d fake an injury so this team might have a chance.

Time to bet the under!

@ this point I’m convinced ALL of the backups slept with Mrs. Ferentz. That’s the only reasonable explanation as to why the coaches are intent on pouring fuel on the dumpster fire.

I’d go outside and burn every piece of hawks gear I own, except my firewood is wet. I can’t justify wasting the gas. Better off going to the trash

No block, no punt return. Game over. That was the last hope.

I hate my life

Texas A&M Gaggies

I can’t wait until 2025 when it goes back to a home and home schedule instead of Jerry World...
Hopefully it happens before the sanctions hit

we’re certainly NOT getting our money’s worth.

This is the problem with hiring players. Especially at a place like A&M, where spirit and tradition is the key driver. Hired hands couldn’t care less.

Dang App State got lucky. We were the better team and dominated both sides of the ball. This is the biggest win of the season for App State, but we’re winning the National Championship. Our goals are beat Bama. Win the SEC. Win the national championship. We’re fine. Gig Em Aggies!

our yell leaders are cringe as fuck

Go F*&K yourself, New Army! You think participation trophies and getting one of a gazillion Texas Aggies rings/degrees each year makes you special. You New Army young ‘uns will never understand the true meaning of being a real and true Texas Aggie so do not even try to go there, little piss-ant.Now go play with your girlfriend/boyfriend/androgynous significant other that you call your man-bun/skinny-jean wearing lover/emotional partner/boy toy/girl toy, or with whatever you New Army “Aggies” identify.

Jimbo Fisher = Gene Chizik

Hi Jimbo what do you have to say about people who say you haven’t done shit since Crab legs , Blind ass Jameis Winston ?

Why do we still have murderer DJ Durkin on the coaching staff. If we stink we may as well NOT have a murderer lol

Texas A&M
Sleeping giant in coma
Time to pull the plug

This could be the year
Have all the pieces in place
Finish 6 and 6

Jimbo Fisher speaks
Ab-a-dee! Ab-a-dee! Ab-
a-dee! That’s all folks!

Appalachian State
Can not believe we lost to
Appalachian State

The poop that I took
After today’s Aggie loss
Put forth more effort.

Sleeping giant wakes
Trips, falls getting out of bed
Calzada was good?

poop poop poop poop poop
poop poop poop poop poop poop poop
poop poop poop poop poop

Don’t bang your cousin
Don’t lose to FCS teams
These are easy rules

I miss Kenny Hill
Or maybe Jerrod Johnson
At least Texas lost

We all bleed maroon
1939 was nice
Never again boys

Vaunted coach Fisher
No, Nick Saban he is not
We can haz OC?

Appalachian State
Got paid to come to Kyle Field
Beat our inept ass

Today’s challenge is to find a reason to keep going

I saw nothing but effort, especially on defense. We just arnt very good. If you want lack of effort, look at Fisher’s qb recruiting 3 of ast 4 years (especially 2021) or development of any player. Lack of coaching adjustments during the season. It all leads back to him.

lol. 4 top 10 classes in a row and we just ain’t very good?

Jimbo is the problem. the good news is that we only have 9.5 years left with him.

Because of the impunity awarded to him by a guaranteed money long term contract, the program is basically now being held hostage by Fisher, his stubbornness and stupidity.

If Haynes King walks out on the field Sat evening, I will turn the TV off....drink a few more beers and call it a night!!

Now that players are paid like professionals, can we boo them like the pros?

Those players aren’t real aggies.

A real Aggie would at least try.

Why would I waste my energy booing the players when 99% of the issues are with Jimbo and his offensive strategy, play calling and coaching staff setup?

It has to be one of the biggest scams ever.
Win a few games.
Get a big contract a a major Texas university. Get fans excited, especially big money people.
Work hard for a year or two.
Get a big raise with a contract extension and a huge buyout with full support of big money fans. Relax and take the money for a few years. (It always seems that expectations rise and performance declines after the contract extensions)
Fans get frustrated. Put up money for the buyout and for another expensive coach.
Coach retires with more money than he can spend in a lifetime.
Rinse
Repeat

Most people don’t do their best work in their mid sixties after securing generational wealth

I think the best bet is to start throwing money into West Virginia’s coaching search fund. That way they can bring him home sooner.

At Least Sumlin…..Kept us in it til November…..

7 on 7 has ruined Texas high school football, that’s not football.

Texas Is Supposed To Be A Football State
Sip loses to Bama by 1
Ags lose to Sun Belt team
Baylor loses to Mormons
Tech barely scrapes by houston (ew)
What is it about our state that breeds mediocrity in football at the college level? Football is such a huge part of the culture in Texas. I just don’t understand.

This is hands down the worst loss of the program

Someone needs to setup an online tournament for worst losses in A&M football history.

In a way, I think this is better. Won’t get my hopes up now. We’ll probably be underdogs in almost every game, so any wins the rest of the way will be upside

You pups need to learn to deal with it. Alcoholism and cocaine to ease the pain.

Id like to see my Ags win a championship before dementia sits in but if not wtf cares

There’s not enough booze in the whole world to solve the problem of Texas Aggie football.

Notre Dame

If you’ve pretty much been average for 30 years… is it really an upset ?

6’4 on a midget of a cb and you call a friging hitch route to completely neutralize the size advantage. Tommy rees is a friging moron.

So f’ing done with this team. No I’m not.

Marcus Freeman has fraud written all over him. All sunshine and rainbows in ND land right now, wait until the losses come in. Kelly’s last 5 years at ND he went 54-9. There’s no way Freeman comes close to that. Prediction: Marcus Freeman will be fired/resign within 2-4 years.

We’re a disorganized mess. Smells like Charlie…and he carried a stink

Is it too early to admit we hired the wrong guy?? What were we even thinking about hiring a DC, from CINCINNATI of all places.

I have locked my 6 year old child in the basement and it’s all your fault. He won’t be getting more than 1 meal a day until you fire Tommy Rees

We hire from an AAC conference, we get an AAC level squad. Acts tough and coaches weak. Now we got to sit back and wait for BK to come back.

This is what denial looks like.

Funny cause the ABSOLUTE best case scenario of Marcus freeman is him going 14-0 and leaving ND for OSU. Worst Case scenario?…. Look in a mirror.

At least we won’t be wasting another CFP spot this year

Big Ten has officially rescinded all offers to Notre Dame to join the conference. Sources say, Commissioner Kevin Warren content with Nebraska being the conference’s only antiquated powerhouse

Hire urban now, $12 MM a year, demote freeman to dc and recruiting coordinator, he loves urban. Clean house on offensive coaches. The season is over!

A terrible QB and terrible HC is a bad combination... This is what happens when you let the players pick the head coach. Are they jumping up & down & cheering for Freeman now? Asking for a friend... Fire MarcusFreeman....

Rees is a jackass. Doesn’t understand how to win a game against the little sisters of the poor.

That was arguably the worst game of organized sports that I’ve ever had the misfortune of watching in my 22 years on this earth

OL was collapsing faster than the Russian front in Ukraine.

Get Urban Meyer a blank check. Sell our souls.

BYU USC Clemson are losses. Cal could be a loss. We could lose every game this year. Marriages will end. Children will not be born. The earth will produce no fruit. Enjoy the taste of ashes and misery.

My mom developed dementia this past year. It’s been awful, tragic, sad. Only silver lining is she can’t understand what’s happening in this game.

I would say that Coach’s honeymoon period is officially over

One of those losses that will be impossible to get over until next season!!! Ridiculous and pathetic play from the start. Can’t lose a game like this and feel any optimism for the rest of the season!!! Unforgivable!!! Unacceptable!!!

At least we’re killing it on the recruiting trail like BK killed that kid

I bet Rudy wishes he took that job at the steel mill...

Lost my dad to dementia this spring. So glad he is not having to witness this.

CORN

What conference is Georgia Southern in?

I’m thinking our Scoring Explosion unis are working well...for them.

Okay, we aren’t Iowa. They have a defense.

Watching Bama/Texas today, the main difference I noticed between them and us calm confidence. Anytime something goes wrong for us, I see panic. If that can change, I see a lot of one score losses becoming wins.

Funny story about this game. Nebraska’s defense was involved in a minor bus accident on the way to the stadium. The busses that contained the defense were unable to make it so they just used random people from the student section to play defense.
>Nah if that was true we could have made at least one more stop.

This team is so fun to watch if you’re not a nebraska fan!

I hate y’all

Our coach fucking sucks. It’s that simple

At least the Queen didn’t have to watch that

Nebraska fans: “We want Urban Meyer”
Trev Alberts: “Best I can do is Tom Herman”

Rejected by a fucking Kentucky coach. Kentucky.

I’d turn off the comments if I were you guys… gonna get ugly in here.

Scott Frost is really bad enough to pay him 7.5 million extra to leave 20 days earlier

In this game, Nebraska has already scored as many points as Iowa has all season.

Whipple looks like he’s in his ninth month.

This used to be amusing. But now it’s just gotten sad. It’s like watching the helpless animal get eaten on a nature show.

A fun thing to do is tune into the radio broadcast and listen to the absolute pain in Matt Davison’s voice when the reality of another loss sets in

Nebraska has paid 16.423 Million the last two days to lose to GA Southern and fire Scott Frost.

Holy Mother of God! Can’t I be happy for more than a few minutes with this team.

Our D is so bad, even Iowa could get a FG off us.

Well.. how much will it take to get Urbz? 8 million a year?

Let’s get Scott Frost fired today why don’t we.

Who the fuck told GA SO to wear their scoring explosion uniforms on the same night? LMAO

Thank goodness we hired Scott Frost to save our program!!

It’s dial-a-score when a couple of plucky SunBelt teams get together.

If we win this game we automatically win the Sunbelt Conference crown

Scott is getting out coached by Clay Helton, the bumbling bafoon who was at USC for too many years (how ironic)

You can’t magically add a ton of athletes at half

We are spectacular at losing by 3.

This is the least surprising score so far today of this insane day of college football. We are possibly the 4th best team in the Sunbelt Conference.

The best thing about this year is going to be the coaching search.

I don’t know which looks work Nebraska, or the show Monarch they keep hyping.

I think Shrek expressed it best: “Grab your torches and pitchforks!”

Bad high school team’s, could of dropped at least 2 TDs on that defense. I literally don’t even care anymore. I gave up about the middle of last year. Nebraska football is so completely irrelevant. Georgia Southern, had better talent on the field and better coaching.

I wonder if Kirk Herbstreit still has Nebraska to win the West

Scott Frost:
-Willing to call an onside kick while up 11 points
-Unwilling to go for it on 4th and 6 inches while down by 7

Scott Frost/Jimbo Fisher loser leaves town trial by combat who says no

We live in a world where Kansas is 2-0 and we’re struggling to put away Georgia Southern…

I don’t think money is the problem. I think it’s Lincoln Nebraska. I think the last time we won anything relevant blockbuster was at its peak.

we have a good volleyball team. and wrestling. we have wrestling. so there mother fucker

Scott Frost buyout is more than enough to buy a Hot and Ready Pizza for every man women and child in the state of Nebraska

Some people paid to watch this.

For what do we wait? The inevitability of death. Fuck everything. There is no hope. Go big red.

Do you enjoy this #content?

Remember, we can’t do it without you — the Meltdown is only as good, and as #girthy as you folks make it. So, send your meltdowns over to [email protected], and our very special thanks to everyone that has done so already!

The season is young, don’t lose focus already. We had plenty of other stuff this week from Wisconsin, UCF, West Virginia, and Florida (among others)...but just flat ran out of time. On these wild weeks in particular, we will need your assistance.

Thanks again, and Roll Tide