Random Thoughts: Defense Optional

As the weather gets a little cooler and we slide into October, the cupcake games mostly go away and conference play amps up. All this silly talk of four PAC teams getting into the CFP will start to dissipate. The Big Ten has four undefeated teams but the league purposely schedules the best teams against the worst early on to build hype for those top-heavy teams. We should see some filtering out of pretenders this month.

SEC

Once again, most of the interesting games came from the Southeastern Conference. After five weeks, all SEC West teams have at least one defeat on their records. Only Bama and TAMU have not lost in conference play from that division.

Alabama 40 Mississippi State 17 - It is amazing that it has taken this long for the Tide staff to recognize the fact that QB Jalen Milroe needs to be more of a runner. One read and go should be his go-to play. Not an RPO but a P-R-O. Nationally underappreciated placekicker Will Reichard booted four field goals (48, 38, 34, 48) with ease, while the Bama defense battered an opposing quarterback for a second straight week. MSU’s Will Rogers was 15 of 27 for a miniscule 107 passing yards. He was sacked four times and threw a trio of interceptions.

Ole Miss 55 LSU 49 - An utterly insane and absurd game ended with an incompletion in the end zone. The two SEC West foes combined for 1,343 yards and 65 first downs. LSU had a 42-34 advantage heading into the final frame. The Rebs would outscore the Tigers 21-7 over the final 15 minutes. Jaxson Dart was 26/39-389-4-0 for OM while Jayden Daniels was 27/36-414-4-0 for the Bayou Bengals. Each team had a 100+ rusher and an additional 90+ rusher. Defense was optional.

Kentucky 33 Florida 14 - Even with 13 defenders on the field ^^^, the Gators still could not stop UK running back Ray Davis who had 280 rushing yards and three ground scores, plus another TD through the air. After a slow start to the season, it’s good to see Ray Davis work the Kinks out - *ba dum tss*.

Texas A&M 34 Arkansas 22 - A TAMU pick-6 and a punt return touchdown would help the Aggies drop the Hogs for the 11th time in the last 12 years. Arky’s Raheim Sanders was held to 34 yards rushing. As a the team, the Razorbacks totaled only 42 rushing and 174 total yards. The Aggies Max Johnson was a little up and down, passing 17/28 for 210 yards and 2 TDs, but also threw a pick-6 and lost two fumbles. Arky’s KJ Jefferson was sacked almost as many times (7) as completions he had (9 of 17).

Georgia 27 Auburn 20 - Stop me if you have heard this one before: UGA was sleepwalking for most of the first half. These two old rivals were tied 17-all after three quarters when lo and behold, the Dwags QB Carson Beck figured out that throwing YOLOs to Brock Bowers will bring you good luck. The Georgia tight end was a one-man offense grabbing 8 passes for 157 yards - with most of his yards coming after the catch - and a touchdown. Auburn did a really poor job of defending the All-American in the second half, often in a bungled zone defense letting Bowers run free.

Missouri 38 Vanderbilt 21 - Brady Cook threw for career-highs 395 yards and four touchdowns as Mizzou moves to 5-0 for the first time since 2013.

Tennessee 41 South Carolina 20 - SCar QB Spencer Rattler (24/35-169-0-1) did not find the end zone with his arm and was sacked (6 times) and harassed all game long. Joe Milton was not much better (21/32-239-1-2) for UT but the Vols running game would grind out 238 yards. The Gamecocks managed only 11 first downs and were 2-15 on 3rd down efficiency.

PSUEDO SEC

These guys... smh

HOT SEATS

I was not a fan of this hiring in 2020 due to Sam Pittman pushing 60 and having never even been a coordinator at the FBS level. His first team in Fayetteville had an awful inaugural year, but then he crashed the party with a 9-win season in 2021. Suddenly, he was everyone’s darling, the lovable huggable grandpa teddy bear. That was short-lived as a 7-6 season last year ended the honeymoon. In the campaign thus far this fall, the Hogs defeated two cupcakes but then lost three straight to P5s. With road games at Ole Miss and Alabama on tap, fans are pining for Bobby Petrino again.

Maryland 44 Indiana 17 - Indiana’s Tom Allen is trying to deflect blame for his team’s lousy production by firing his offensive coordinator Walt Bell on Sunday. The Hoosiers (2-3, B1G 0-2) managed 321 yards and 20 first downs against the Terps but could not put many points on the baird. The bigger issue might be on the other side of the ball as Taulia Tagovailoa lit up the Indy defense for 352 yards passing and 5 TDs as well as converting a run into a score. Allen is 8-21 over the last three seasons.

Boston College 27 Virginia 24 - The Cavs flopped on a shot at their first W of the season after blowing a 21-7 advantage in the third quarter. UVa coach Tony Elliott is a Dabo disciple.

OFF THE HOT SEAT?

West Virginia 24 TCU 21 - The Mountaineers win on the road and move to 4-1 (B12 2-0). These WVU fans need to STFU about coach Neal Brown. The ‘Neers are quietly putting together a decent season with their only defeat coming on the road at #6 Penn State. It’s funny how when Colorado beat the Horned Frogs (3-2, B12 1-1), it was like winning the Super Bowl. When West Virginia did it, crickets and tumbleweeds.

Virginia Tech 38 Pitt 21 - Brent Pry got a MUCH needed win over a regional rival to hold off the torch and pitchfork crowd for another week. The Hokies are 2-3 but have defeat #4 coming their way on Saturday in Tallahassee.

LOUSIEST DEFENSE OF THE WEEK

Southern Cal 48 Colorado 41 - The Trojans led 41-14 late in the 3rd period before the Buffs stormed back to make it a close one. Colorado outgained So Cal 564 to 498 and had more first downs 32-26. For this performance, the AP Poll dropped the Men of Troy one spot to #9.

SHADIEST COVER OF THE WEEK

Penn State 41 Northwestern 13 - Down 21 points with 2:35 to go, the Wildcats were actually moving the ball when their QB threw a stupid pick right into the gut of a Nittany Lion who returned it to the NU 30.

On the ensuing play, PSU faked a kneel down (real classy) and threw an unnecessary touchdown pass to win by 28 points 41-13. Can you guess what the spread was?

It was -26.5.

Either Penn State coach James Franklin is a total ***hole or he just got a phone call saying his family has been released safe and sound.

MELTDOWN OF THE WEEK

Baylor 36 UCF 35 - Oh, my. The Gus Bus has done broken down. Center Florida led 35-7 late in the third quarter before the Bears staged a comeback of 29 unanswered points. BU coach Dave Aranda doused the flames on his seat for another week.

OTHER STUFF

Notre Dame 21 Duke 14 - Old man Sam Hartman, who was born in the last millennium, led the Irish on a 10 play drive covering 95 yards over 2:04 for the go-ahead touchdown with just 31 ticks remaining.

Oregon State 21 Utah 7 - The Two Utes fortunes of winning without QB Cameron Rising finally ran out. Nate Johnson and Bryson Barnes combined for 13/31 passing for 141 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT. The Utah offense generated only 198 total yards

Texas 40 Kansas 14 - With quarterback Jalon Daniels still out with an injury, the Jayhawks could not get much going on offense. The defense was not of much help either as KU was outgained by the Longhorns 661 to 160.

LAMEST FAN BASE OF THE WEEK

“Lackluster weather”? You can’t be serious. But then again, those Stanford nerds don’t like to go outside much.

Oregon 42 Stanford 6 - This game got off to a weird start as the Cardinal drove 46 yards on 15 plays, lasting 7:42, and kicked a 37 yard field goal. That is just over three yards per play! The Dux responded with a 3-and-out. Stanford again countered with a long-ass slow drive of 13 plays, 51 yards, and 6:00 resulting in a 53 yard field goal. Briefly leading 6-0 would be the highlight of the day for Stanford. Oregon of course curb stomped the nerds from there on out

POOCH OF THE WEEK

CATCH OF THE WEEK

Yawn. Tyrone Prothro did it back in 2005 and did it better.

DISS OF THE WEEK

IDIOT FANS OF THE WEEK (NSFW)

This nimrod busted his ass. He’s lucky he didn’t break his neck.

Yep, it’s ol’ CB with another #GOML rant against morons rushing the field over nothing. Read the comments of the above “Scottie” Tweet and you will see that the vast majority of people agree that this dumbass deserves every bit of scorn coming his way. The LSU player is 6’2”/320 lbs DL Jacobian Guillory. Yeah. Say that to his face, dickweed.

The Ole Miss AD had a $100,000 invoice from the SEC awaiting him on Monday morning.

SNIPER OF THE WEEK

#PrayersUP! Whichever sharpshooter took out this poor innocent Auburn player needs to get his ass over to Moscow or Beijing or somewhere in the Middle East.

GUS JOHNSON NAILS-ON-A-CHALKBOARD IMITATOR OF THE WEEK

This announcer’s name is Eric Collins. His regular job is as the play-by-play guy for the Charlotte Hornets. So, there is no way anyone has heard him before.

NIL OF THE WEEK

Yep, those are real players on the ISU roster.

NAME OF THE WEEK

Former British rugby player turned Duke linebacker Memorable Factor. His parents are kind of a semi-big deal.

NICKNAME OF THE WEEK

LSU MONEY OUT THERE DOING GOOD IN THE WORLD

ANSWER TO LAST WEEK’S TRIVIA

Oregon State’s head coach of five seasons is named Jonathan Smith.^^^^ Gross.

MUST BE NICE IN NON-POWER-5

TRY WINNING MORE THAN ONE GAME BEFORE YOU TRY EMULATING NICK SABAN

WORTH IT

The Sun Belt issued the Thundering Herd a “public reprimand” for “drone flying over the field when squad members were present during team introductions for Marshall.”

STATS OF THE WEEK

• The LSU-Ole Miss over under was 67. It went over by 37 points.
• Unless you only just now became aware of the human being known as Deion Sanders, you probably already knew that he was perhaps the best defensive back of all time. Thus, you might think that coaching secondary would be his forte, right? After 5 games, Colorado has allowed 16 passing touchdowns for 3.2 passing scores per game. That is dead last in FBS. UMass has also allowed 16 but they have played 6 games (2.67/game).
• FBS Teams with better or equal records to Colorado: Georgia, Michigan, Oklahoma, Oregon, Penn State, Southern Cal, Texas, Washington, Maryland, Louisville, Kentucky, Air Force, Fresno, Missouri, James Madison, Notre Dame, FSU, North Carolina, Miami (FL), Ohio State, Liberty, Washington State, Marshall, Memphis, Tulane, Duke, Syracuse, West Virginia, Kansas, BYU, Rutgers, Iowa, Jacksonville State, Miami (OH), Ohio, Toledo, UNLV, Wyoming, Oregon State, Utah, Tennessee, Texas A&M, Alabama, Ole Miss, Georgia Southern, Georgia State, Texas State, Wake Forest, Kansas State, Wisconsin, UCLA, SMU, USF, Tulsa, Rice, NC State, Clemson, TCU, UCF, Minnie, WKU, FIU, CMU, Cal, Arizona, Florida, LSU, Auburn, App State, Arkansas State, Troy.

UGLIEST UNIFORMS OF THE WEEK

Well, who did you think it would be? UTEP?

GAMEDAY SIGN OF THE WEEK

Iowa fans have accepted their destiny.

THE WACKY WORLD OF DESI

Well, dang. Credit Desmond Howard for coming in hot.

GD is heading to Dallas for a big SEC match-up between Texas and Oklahoma. FOX’s Big Noon will be in the worst state ever and Urban will be insufferable. Save yourself the agony. SEC Nation will be in Athens for Kentucky’s big upset of Georgia (-14.5).

ADOPT-A-TEAM

• Tulane (4-1) QB Michael Pratt was back to lead the Green Wave over UAB 35-23.
• Fresno (5-0) toppled godawful Nevada 27-9 and snuck their way into #25 in the AP Poll.
• Wyoming (4-1) beat hapless New Mexico 35-26. The next three are when it gets real: vs Fresno, @ AFA, @ Boise.
• Washington State (4-0) - Wazzu had the week off before a trek down the coast to UCLA (-4).
• Jamey Chadwell (35-6 over the last four seasons) - Liberty should move to 5-0 with Sam Houston coming to town.

COUSINS

• Troy (3-2) - The Trojans handed Georgia State their first defeat of the season 28-7. Butch Jones’ Arky State (3-2) on a three-game winning streak comes a-callin’ as a 16.5 point underdog.
• South Alabama (2-3) - The Jags came back from down 24-7 to James Madison but lost 31-23. USA heads to ULM (2-2) as a surprising 12 point favorite.
• Jacksonville State (4-1) - The Gamecocks had a close call against a ghastly Sam Houston team on Thursday night. JSU had to go to overtime to beat Bearkats 35-28. This Wednesday, the ‘Cocks travel to MTSU as a 4.5 point ‘dog. RichRod really wants to get on TV. They have games 5 thru 9 on Thur, Wed, Tue, Tue, Wed.

THAT ANNOYING GUY WHO LEAVES HIS SHOPPING CART IN THE PARKING SPACE NEXT TO HIS CAR

• UAB (1-4) - The Dragons trailed Tulane only 28-20 with 8 minutes to play but could not keep up, falling 35-23. South Florida visits B’ham as a 4 point favorite.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

It sure looks like Army will be joining the AAC as a football-only member. The commissioner of that league told reporters that the two sides were hoping an agreement could be struck as soon as the end of the month. This is great news for Army who has been an independent since 2004. With the direction college football is traveling, it is becoming more apparent that being an independent will not pay off. Notre Dame, UMass and UConn are the only other indies.

Dang! That video kinda fired me up for the Force!

• Air Force (5-0) - The Falcons remain unbeaten by topping San Diego Maradona State 49-10. AFA heads back to the base for a week and prepare for Wyoming’s arrival on Oct. 14.
• Army (2-2) - The Black Knights (-3.5) conducted a “tactical retrograde” this week before Boston College invades on Saturday.

• Navy (1-3) - Ugh. A rough day for the Midshipmen but a good day for the Alabama strength of schedule. Byrum Brown had 338 yards of passing as USF (3-2) won 44-30. The Middies (-6) host North Texas.

ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION

Eliminated: All non-P5s, Clemson, Boston College, Virginia, Wake, Pitt, Virginia Tech, Georgia Tech, Baylor, Houston, Iowa State, BYU, Cincinnati, Center Florida, Oklahoma State, Texas Tech, Rutgers, Sparty, Minnie, Nebraska, Northwestern, Iowa, Purdue, Illinois, Indiana, Arizona State, Arizona, Colorado, Stanford, Cal, South Carolina, Vanderbilt, Missy State, Arky NEW: Auburn, Florida, NC State, Syracuse, TCU

Endangered: Texas A&M, Alabama, Mizzou, Tennessee, Notre Dame NEW: ...

Extremely Endangered: Wisconsin, West Virginia, Ole Miss, UCLA, Oregon State, NEW: Utah, Duke, LSU

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

DraftKings odds to win the 2023 National Championship:

1. Georgia +220 to+240 to +230 to +300 (bet $100 to win $300) doubts creeping in?
2. Michigan +800 to +750 to +700 to +475 to +400
3. Texas +2200 to +1000 to +800 to +750
4. Ohio State +700 to +750 to +900 +1200 to +1000 to +800 to +750
5. FSU +2000 to +1100 +1000 drop to +1200 to +800 to +900
6. Penn State +2200 to +1800 to +1600 to +1400
7. Washington to +1500
8. Oregon to +1600
9. Southern Cal +1500 to +1600 to +1500 stays at +1400 to +1600 to +1800
10. Alabama +600 to +550 to +2500 to +4000 to +4000 to +2500 - back in the top 10.

• Notre Dame +3500 to +2800 to +2200 to +1600 to +3500 to +4000
• Texas A&M +12000 to +10000 to +12000
• LSU +1100 to +3500 to +3500 to +3000 to +4000 to +15000

Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.

• ACC - Florida State and UNC had the week off. Miami-FL has yet to play a conference game. Louisville has Notre Dame on the horizon.
• Big 12 - It’s Texas versus Okie this Saturday.
• Big Ten - Still waiting on anOSU, Michigan, and PSU to play a conference foe worth a hill of beans.
• PAC-12 - Southern Cal’s horrific defense has many doubting their chances of a CFP appearance. Some things never change. Huh, Lincoln? The Utes are likely out of it but can still be a spoiler.
• SEC - Georgia and Kentucky this Saturday. Mizzou’s magical run can’t last, can it?
• Indies - Notre Dame (+4000) extreme longshot. Join a damn conference already!
• Non-Power 5

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

Seriously, how is UGA still ranked #1? Clearly, most of these AP voters are not watching the games. They are glancing at team records and being lazy.

1. Georgia (35) - one-man offense
2. Michigan (12) - STILL AIN’T PLAYED NOBODY, PAAWWWWWLLL!
3. Texas (10)
4. Ohio State (1)
5. Florida State (4)
6. Penn State
7. Washington
8. Oregon
9. Southern Cal - dropped another spot.
10. Notre Dame
11. Alabama
12. Oklahoma
13. Washington State
14. North Carolina
15. Oregon State
16. Ole Miss
17. Miami
18. Utah - tumbled 8 spots
19. Duke
20. Kentucky - 2023 debut in the rankings
21. Missouri
22. Tennessee
23. LSU - down a whopping 10
24. Fresno
25. Louisville - Newbie to the rankings despite their trash schedule

Florida and Kansas dropped out.

LET’S GO BOWLING!

• Of the 131 FBS teams eligible for the post season, only 22 are still undefeated.
• Fifteen teams are 5-0. The remaining seven are 4-0.

LET’S GO BLOWING!

• Virginia, UConn, and Nevada are last winless teams after five games.
• Sam Houston is 0-4 and the odds on favorite for this year’s Triple Golden Sombrero for going 0-12 in a season.
• None of the new members of the Big 12 have conference wins over the rest of the league thus far. BYU is 1-1 by defeating Cincinnati. Cincy, Center Florida, and Houston are all 0-2 each.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to Texas Tech for attempting to profit off the late Mike Leach.

People may not recall that Leach was fired as Texas Tech’s football coach in 2009 following accusations that he had mistreated a player, who just happened to be ESPN announcer Craig James’s son. Craig used his clout to get Leach canned just before bowl season but in turn became a target of scorn from the general public for his meddling and helicopter-parenting. Leach would later unsuccessfully sue James and ESPN for defamation, but he got the last laugh because the former announcer has not worked in broadcasting in decades. But back to Texas Tech. Leach also sued Texas Tech for wrongful termination, claiming that he was owed $2.5 million from his contract. That lawsuit was eventually dismissed due to some Texas loophole. There was also a suit over open-records requests for his firing in which the school has refused to cooperate.

Long story short, TTU owes Leach’s family money and the split between the late coach and the university was and remains an ugly one. And still we have Tech trying to pretend like they want to honor Leach. But really, it is about selling t-shorts. Disgusting.

HEISMAN HYPE

It’s not so irrational, Joe. Washington QB Michael Penix has some right purty numbers. But the competition has not been so fierce. To date, the Huskies have faced Boise, Tulsa, @ embattled Michigan State, Cal, and @ Arizona. Outside of ‘Zona, these opponents are among the worst in FBS at defending the pass.

*Penix did not convert a passing touchdown against the Wildcats.

The Huskies have a week off to prepare for Oregon Oct. 14 and later face a November slate of @ Southern Cal, vs Utah, @ Oregon State, and vs Washington State. Let’s circle back around to this discussion...

Below are just some of the top Heisman picks in order of the money lines. Penix has dropped to second.

Odds are provided by DraftKings and many more options can be seen at that link. . [Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.]

1. QB Caleb Williams (JR, Southern Cal) +450 to +400 to +380 to +400 to +180
2. QB Michael Penix (6th YR, Washington) from +1600 to +900 to +550 to +400 to +380
3. QB Quinn Ewers (RS-SO, Texas) +1300 to +900 to +700 to +600 to +900
4. QB Bo Nix (SR, Oregon) +1000 to +900
5. QB Jordan Travis (6th YR, FSU) from +1400 to +900 to +1500 to +1200 to +1500

• QB Jayden Daniels (5th YR, LSU) +1100 to +3000 to +2200 +1800 to +2500
• QB Sam Hartman (6th YR, Notre Dame) fell from +1600 to +2000 to +1100 to +2200
• Jalen Milroe +12000 to +10000 to +9000
• QB Shedeur Sanders (JR, Colorado) +1800 to +8000 to +12000
• Jase McClellan +12000 to +15000

As you can see, all of these top candidates are quarterbacks and avast majority should have asterisks by their name because they should be out of eligibility by now. So, let’s think outside the box for some other candidates.

• They didn’t give it to Will Anderson. So, why would they give it to Dallas Turner? They won’t but it’s not because he is not worthy. The Tide linebacker has been a savage defender with 10 solos, 12 assist, 5.5 sacks, 7.5 TFL, 7 QBH, and 2 forced fumbles.
• Jonah Elliss, DE, Utah 15 solo, 10 asst, 7.5 sacks, 1 pass defensed
• Luther Burden, WR, Mizzou 43 recs, 644 yds, 5 TD
• Ray Davis, RB, Kentucky 76 rush, 594 yds, 7.8 ypr, 8 TD

THE SICK REPORT

• To add injury to insult, Duke star QB Riley Leonard suffered a high ankle sprain on the last play of the loss to Notre Dame. He left the field on crutches and is expected to miss multiple weeks. Duke has a bye this week before hosting NC State (Oct. 14), then playing at Florida State (Oct. 21) and at Louisville (Oct. 28). If you believe in the power of prayer, pray that he returns for the FSU game.
• Tennessee suffers a devastating loss as they lose starting WR Bru McCoy for the season. The Vols’ second leading receiver was quickly put under the knife Sunday morning to repair a fractured ankle. We are not posting the video because it is pretty gruesome but you can find it on social media if that is your wont.
• As if Iowa’s offense is not already bad enough, they will be moving forward without starting QB Cade McNamara carted off with a knee injury. As a member of Michigan in 2022, McNamara missed most of the season and was limited in spring practice with a similar knee injury.
• Top Boston College wide receiver Ryan O’Keefe was immobilized and transported to Mass General Hospital due to a neck injury suffered in the Eagles game against Virginia. He is back on campus after being discharged on Sunday.
• ICYMI, Texas A&M QB Conner Weigman (foot) is out for the rest of season.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

• Happy 35th to Roger’s BFF and every SEC fanboy’s crush.

R.I.P.

• Like me, most of you probably don’t remember Tim Foley playing on the Don Shula-led Dolphins back in the 1970s. However, you may faintly recall him from the days when TBS first aired college football. He along with Bob Neal, Craig Sager, Paul Hornung, and Pepper Rodgers helped break the stranglehold that ABC and CBS had on the sport. Foley died at age 75.

DRAMA

• Oregon State and Washington State have a hearing with Pac-12 set for Nov. 14th to discuss who gains control of the conference and its assets. The preliminary injunction hearing will be held in Washington Superior Court in Whitman County where the Wazzu campus is located.
• The College Football Playoff management committee has shelved any talk of format changes to the expanded 12-team field that will begin next season. The flawed 6+6 format (6 highest ranked conference champs plus 6 at large with the top four seeds going to the four highest conference champs) will remain in place. Surely, the PAC cannot be counted as conference with only two members. If true, that basically locks the SEC, B1G, ACC and B12 champs into the top four seeds with first-round byes potentially over higher ranked teams. Last season, ACC Champ Clemson was ranked lower (#7) than three SEC teams heading into bowl season: #1 UGA, #5 Alabama, and #6 Tennessee.
• Mel Tucker is officially out at Michigan State but the fight has only just begun. As expected, he is preparing a wrongful termination lawsuit against the school. At stake is a $86.6 million buyout and the university’s claim of firing him for cause - and DEFINITELY NOT because he went 5-7 last season. This one is going to be a soap opera.
• Ole Miss TE Michael Trigg is no longer with the program. Lane Kiffin gave no reason for the parting of ways.

KOACHES KORNER

• Speaking of Michigan State, speculation has already begun over Tucker’s potential replacement. Names like Jamey Chadwell and JMU’s Curt Cignetti have surfaced. But who would want this job right now? Sure, the money might be good - if they even have any after paying off Tucker - but who wants the headaches of coaching for Sparty as they are embroiled in the most scandalous era in school history? Duke’s Mike Elko and Kansas State’s Chris Klieman have already stated their disinterest in the job.
• Urban Meyer’s dad kept on complaining that Urbie uses too much technology. So, UM called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
• Fat F*** Phil Fulmer had a custom leather jacket made for himself. In other news, cows are now on the endangered species list.

TEEVEE

Oh, boy. Here we go...

THIS WEEK

(Below is an abbreviated list of highlighted games of interest with lines provided by DraftKings. If you REALLY need to know about the big Howard-Northwestern showdown, you can find the details here.)

Wednesday, October 4

Jacksonville State at Middle Tennessee (-3.5) 7pm/8pm ESPNU - How’s the wife doing, RichRod?
FIU at New Mexico State (-5.5) 8pm/9pm CBSSN - Ghastly.

Thursday, October 5

Sam Houston at Liberty (-18) 6pm/7pm CBSSN - Jamey Chadwell alert.
Western Kentucky (-6) at Louisiana Tech 7pm/8pm ESPNU

Friday, October 6

Kansas State (-11) at Oklahoma State 6:30/7:30 ESPN - Is Gundy on the hot seat?
Nebraska at Illinois (-3.5) 7pm/8pm FS1 - Bert vs Rhule

Saturday, October 7

How lame is the #TopHeavy Big Ten? Not a single game worth mentioning lame. All the best games* this week are SEC or soon-to-be SEC.

SEC

* LSU (-6.5) at Missouri 11am/Noon ESPN - Will LSU be ticked off or mopey? It might sound like hyperbole but this might be the most important game of Brian Kelly’s short tenure at Red Stick to date.
Western Michigan at Mississippi State (-20.5) 11am/Noon SECN
Vanderbilt at Florida (-18.5) 3pm/4pm SECN
* Kentucky at Georgia (-15) 6pm/7pm ESPN - HUGE opportunity for UK.
Arkansas at Ole Miss (-11.5) 6:30/7:30 SECN

- SCar, Tenn, and Aubie have a bye week.

OTHERS WORTH A PEEK

* Oklahoma vs Texas (-5) 11am/Noon ABC - The Red River Shootout at the Cotton Bowl, Dallas, TX
Notre Dame (-6.5) at Louisville 6pm/7pm ABC - Eliminator
Fresno (-6) at Wyoming 7pm/8pm FOX - Adoption eliminator between two of the better non P-5s.

“FATIGUE IS THE BEST PILLOW”- Benjamin Franklin

Arizona at Southern Cal (-21.5) 9:30/10:30 ESPN

SABAN vs. POP & BEAR

To the rest of the FBS I say, y’all in trouble now. This ^^^ is what has been missing from Alabama football as of late. An enraged fired up Nick Saban who demands perfection every second of the day is the best kind of Nick Saban. This was not just Saban screaming at a coach through the headphones. This was him sending a message to every person involved in this Alabama program. You’ll notice in that clip how he is right in the middle of everything so everyone can hear this new ***hole being torn and praying they are not next. Now all we need is for him to stop joking with reporters and lay into one or two.

Below is a count of career FBS/Division I-A win totals for coaches.

For those of you new to RBR Random Thoughts, we count all on-field wins at the FBS/Division I-A level. So, before you go squawking about Frank Beamer, 42 of his wins came at Murray State. Mack Brown had six victories in one season with Appalachian State when they were still in what was known at I-AA (FCS today). Brian Kelly won 118 games with something called Grand Valley State. So, let’s stop talking about his win record with such reverence. In addition, we don’t recognize NCAA sanctioned forfeits. If you won on the field, it counts in our books.

Mack Brown’s Tar Heels had a week off.

#ALABAMA

• Caleb Downs was named SEC Co-Freshman of the Week. The Tide safety logged 5 solo tackles, 8 assists, and an interception returned 11 yards.
• Reports have said that Alabama linebacker Deontae Lawson (ankle) could miss multiple games. He did not play this past weekend at Missy State. Jihaad Campbell continues to play really well in his stead and had a remarkable 14 tackle assists. The true sophomore also had a half sack, an additional half TFL, a QBH and an interception. He played all 63 defensive snaps. Fellow ILB Trezmen Marshall played 43 snaps (68.3%). Alabama has some linebackers who can drop into coverage and mess things up, y’all.
• Tim Smith got the start over Jaheim Oatis for the MSU game. He was joined on the defensive line by Tim Keenan and Justin Eboigbe. Oatis, who missed the USF game due to injury but started versus Ole Miss, did participate in the Clanga-clang game tallying one tackle assist on 18 snaps. He was seen before the game warming up at the back of the drill line. While there has been no official word on him, the general belief is that he may not 100% healthy right now.
• Defensive end Jah-Marien Latham had one his best games collecting half a sack, 2 quarterback hurries, and a pass break-up on 22 snaps. However, he was forced to exit the game with 3:39 left to play. He is expected back on the field.

• True sophomore Tyler Booker (52) again served as a team captain for the Tide. Justin Eboigbe and Will Reichard were the other game captains.
• Speaking of Reichard, the Tide placekicker moves into 8th place on the NCAA All-Time career points list with 471. Daniel Carlson, who had 480 points from 2014-17, is next on the list for him to catch.

1. QB Keenan Reynolds, Navy 530
2. RB Kenneth Dixon, Louisiana Tech 522
3. RB Montee Ball, Wisconsin 500
4. PK Austin Seibert, Oklahoma 499
5. PK Zane Gonzalez, Arizona State 494
6. PK Christopher Dunn, North Carolina State 491
7. PK Daniel Carlson, Auburn 480
8. PK Will Reichard, Alabama 474

• Let Justice be served... the football. FTR, we here at RBR have been saying that Justice Haynes is probably the best runner on the roster since he signed with the Tide. It’s time.
• Senior WR Jermaine Burton did not start and only played nine of a possible 59 snaps against the Bullies. Kendrick Law started in his place, though he was only in on 17 plays. The Tuscaloosa News speculated that it was to “rotate some guys, getting others such as Law more work.” But that sounds like a load of horse manure. Nick Saban is not going to start a back-up on the road against an SEC West opponent just to get them more playing time. It’s pure speculation on my part, but this sounds like someone needed an attitude adjustment. Judging by how Burton celebrated after the game, I think he got the message. Isaiah Bond continues to get the most playing time (34 snaps). Malik Benson was right behind him (33) followed by Ja’Corey Brooks (20).
• Alabama-Arkansas will kickoff at 11 a.m. CT and will air on ESPN. And it’s homecoming for the Capstoners.

GAME 6: Saturday, October 7, 2023

Alabama Crimson Tide (4-1) at Texas A&M Aggies (4-1)

College Station, TX ~ 2:30/3:30 CBS

• The Aggies have defeated New Mexico, ULM, Aub and Arky. Their only defeat was on the road at Miami.
• TAMU will be proceeding with Max Johnson over the injured Connor Weigman at quarterback. Johnson, an LSU transfer before last season, was 17 of 28 for 210 yards, 2 TDs and a pick against Arkansas. He also had 57 rushing yards and was not sacked.
• Alabama is 12-3 all-time against TAMU. The Aggies wins came in 2021, 2012, and the 1968 Cotton Bowl.
• The College Station weather forecast calls for a brisk day with cloudy skies and a high of only 71°. It’s football weather, y’all.
• SHUT UP, GARY! TV Announcers are Brad Nessler and Gary Danielson with Jenny Dell on the sidelines.
• Chris Stewart will be on the call for Alabama Radio.
• The point spread according to DraftKings has Bama as a -2.5 favorite as of post. The Over/Under is around 48.5.

Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.